Por Favor

Do you remember that "Jump To Conclusions" mat from Office Space? If not then what the fuck, here's a refresher for your THC-addled memory:



Remember now? Asshole. Well, normally my mat either ends in "strike out" or "no!"
If there was an option for "go fuck yourself" or "you're fucked!" I'd never have to jump again. This past week I endured a self-induced symposium; in the most basic of terms I had been trying to do to much, at the wrong time. Vague? Possibly, but I have a reason to be. Whenever I do this to myself I end up having a personal "vision quest" of sorts....deep introspection with bouts of depression and elation. Now don't get confused, i am not by any means manic-depressive...if I ingest Xanax it is purely for recreation or research...^_^

The last few weeks of my life have been like a drive on a familiar country road with a headlight out--I know exactly where I need to go but the way isn't as visible as it could be. For once in my life I'm actually choosing the smarter decisions over the most....enjoyable let's say, but smarter does not equate to easier. Is there such a thing as a quarter life crisis? Actually, since I don't see myself making it past 55 then this could be the fabled "mid-life crisis", where one questions himself and everything around him. Whatever the case, this week has led to a few conclusions on my part (see that? Full circle.)

• I need a roommate. I know, I've spoken against it, but the monetary benefits are too great, especially considering my goals for the next two years.
• I need a house. See the contradiction? I need space that I can change, that I can call my own. Especially since...
• For the first time in a while, I'm homesick. I haven't been to Ohio in years...

• I now realize the importance of family. Live for a while as I have for the last 9 years and you will fully understand.

Now as I said before, don't mistake this for depression. It's more of a feeling of clarity than despair. I'm on the right path, my goals are set and distinct. It's just that when you finally start going against your past tendencies...things are a bit cloudy until your old habits become your OLD habits.

Now...one more thing. On September 19th, I will be "going out" as the kids say, for the last time for a month. A full 30 days without clubs, bars, hopefully not without the indulgences of the opposite sex; regardless, an extension of my focus needs to happen. Now why Sept 19th you ask? Well, 30 days from that date allows me to still act reckless on MY holiday, Halloween. But more importantly? September 19th I will be in full out W.A.V.Y. mode for....


LUPE


FUCKING


FIASCO